As fate would have it, Critters was the final movie shown at this weekend’s Alamo horror movie marathon. I had heard of it but didn’t know much about it. There are critters and they’re from space and they kill people. That’s the extent of my knowledge. Safely on the other side, I can say that I loved it in that Gremlins, 1980s pop-horror kind of way. Some thoughts:
- I’m obsessed with the critters themselves. They’re tiny balls of fur that double in size when they eat, which makes absolutely no sense. They have a billion teeth, they curse, and they appreciate irony.
- What’s with the no-faced bounty hunters? Yes, they took on faces eventually, but they said a total of ten words and were surprisingly nice to the young boy who befriended them. Honestly, I expected them to start killing people left and right for no reason. Clearly that would have taken away from the campiness of the movie.
- Speaking of campiness, it was my favorite part. You just can’t make one of these movies without it. The characters were absurd caricatures of small-town folk, with the brave father who almost gets eaten, the mother who screams endlessly, the sheriff who gets pissed he was woken up and does nothing to help the situation. It’s more funny than scary, as I’m sure you well know.
- I love finding movies where famous actors got their start. Seeing Billy Zane get eaten by a fuzzy bowling ball somewhat made up for his horrible treatment of Rose.
I sincerely hope you’re partaking in some good old-fashioned space horror this Halloween. If not, get on it.
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