A solid summary of my experience watching Lifeforce is “what the hell is going on?” If you haven’t seen it, there are vampires in space who are in this overtly phallic spaceship floating in a comet. They get picked up by astronauts and everything goes downhill from there. Some thoughts:
- It seems that the entire movie hinged on the three mysterious vampires being nude in tubes of glass. There are 4,000 closeup shots of the female vampire without clothes on. It’s ridiculous.
- These vampires aren’t the exciting kind that say “I want to suck your blood” and turn into bats. They stare a lot and devour souls with their lips like Winifred Sanderson, without the amazing makeup or song and dance numbers.
- The alien ship is literally a rubbery octopus used to collect human souls. What? I mean, what? How? Why?
- An ancient vampire killing sword suddenly appears, with no explanation as to the origins. Naturally, it saves the day for a moment before all hell breaks loose the tenth time. Again, what?
- Finally, the ending has to top the WTF charts as their disembodied souls dance up through the ray of stolen human souls into the waiting octopus ship. Apparently the guy is in love with the vampire alien? Who knows, really.
As far as campy 80s films go, it’s definitely entertaining. If you want a coherent horror movie with cool space tech, yeah, this isn’t that.
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