Science Fiction Movies Space Junk

163 Thoughts While Watching ‘Extinction’

Extinction was…interesting. It’s definitely not going to win any Academy Awards but as far as a quick science fiction story, it was entertaining. It’s very ‘Independence Day’ meets the sad American dream until you realize the massive plot twist. To me, the twist explained a lot of the strangeness from the beginning of the film. Overall, I’d say check it out if you want to see aliens, explosions, and a lot of running. I’m always interested in a dystopia film myself.

If you want to watch Extinction, stop right here! If not, see below the robot for my 163 thoughts. It’s like you’re reading it in real time. Or not.

Spoiler

163 THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING EXTINCTION

  1. Starting with an aerial shot and a voiceover – you know it’s gonna be good.
  2. So far, this seems like a sad ode to American life. Where are the aliens?
  3. Oh, there they are. That didn’t take long.
  4. Shooting! Man, that was quick.
  5. Explosions! Scared faces!
  6. Wait, just a dream.
  7. Yaaaaaaas Janice Ian (Mean Girls) is in this. Now I definitely love it.
  8. I hear you, girl, losing sleep is crap.
  9. There’s a lot of slow motion walking in this movie. Does that mean dramatic?
  10. It’s a fancy-pants apartment at least. With big-ass plants and a cool watering can. I notice the little things
  11. They really don’t seem all that happy. Lots of grey and fake laughs.
  12. Uh, who is this elevator girl. Why you so mean?
  13. She’s his older daughter. Weird, but hardcore bangs.
  14. “That was a good insult.” That’s such a weirdly awesome dad thing to say.
  15. Future buildings! They twist and have plants on balconies and everything!
  16. I really can’t tell what he does for a job. Some kind of factory with insanely white walls.
  17. We’ve got a Lady Macbeth bloody hands situation.
  18. Yaaaaaas Luke Cage is here to scold him about his vacuum.
  19. I thought that would be more intense.
  20. Dude, you just broke something, and you ask to leave early? What kind of future is this?
  21. Janice (that’s what I’m calling her) has a fancy job with floaty building graphics.
  22. Now she deserves to leave early with that bomb-ass presentation.
  23. So far, this is just people doing work and smiling a lot.
  24. A scary basement. Here is comes. And a flickering light!
  25. This guy seriously need to get stuff checked out – these are some intense visions.
  26. More explosions! And gunshots and screaming and dizzying camera work.
  27. Seriously, go to the doctor. Did you really just fall asleep on the floor at work in a version of the Home Alone basement?
  28. A spaceship! But nobody seems to care. I’d have the look on my face too.
  29. Why is this telescope so ominous. That was some intense telescope music.
  30. Dude, go home. You’re family ain’t happy.
  31. She paints too! I’m obsessed with her. And she madddd right now.
  32. Why are their clothes so grey. Are there no colors and patterns in the future?
  33. Yeah dude, it really seems like it’s in your head.
  34. More visions! This is some dystopia level shit.
  35. Oh no, they dead. Maybe.
  36. Man, this guy can’t catch a break. He’s having major issues and everyone is hating on him.
  37. A monkey Teddy Ruckspin! And he fixed it. Back to father of the year.
  38. He’s going to a doctor finally.
  39. Maybe he’s a building maintenance guy at some fancy science building? It’s really hard to tell. Something with tools.
  40. The oracle character has appeared, sitting in the mental health clinic.
  41. He’s not the only one seeing the aliens! It’s gonna happen.
  42. Okay, literally everyone wears grey. Is this some kind of symbolism? Or does the future just mean grey sweaters and pants and shirts and shoes?
  43. Another vision! Damn, that’s a lot of spaceships. And guns.
  44. Yeah, you sound pretty crazy. Nobody who has visions about apocalypses is taken seriously until they start. Not fair.
  45. Colors! She’s wearing orange! I was starting to get concerned. Or maybe yellow. I’m color blind (literally).
  46. Happening party and this guy is on the balcony looking through his telescope. Looks like it was for the whole party. Pretty strange.
  47. That was a cliched conversation.
  48. OH SHIT. It begins. For realssssss.
  49. He’s not so crazy now, is he? That’s right, there are aliens. Shouldn’t have ignored him.
  50. Whaaaaaaat. Huge shockwave explosion! This is like a strobe disco party except with alien spaceships.
  51. They are screwed. How did nobody see these aliens coming? There are so many of them, seriously.
  52. The chaos begins. Lots of running and smoke and yelling.
  53. Shit, more explosions. Man, this went to level 100 reallll quick.
  54. It would appear they don’t want to be friends. Shooting at first sight! How are any of them going to survive this.
  55. Gahhhh, horror show in the elevator.
  56. Really, you’re immediately going to climb down an elevator shaft?
  57. Alright, I guess you saved your kids, so it’s brave and not ridiculous.
  58. Janice really doesn’t look that scared. She’s a boss. Aliens ain’t no thing.
  59. Girl, runnnnnn. That alien is gonna see you under that table.
  60. Why are you going up the stairs. You’re literally just trapping yourselves.
  61. There are alien noises inside! What are they?
  62. Tall humanoid dudes in weird suits. Why can’t aliens every look different than us? I want to see invading space whales.
  63. Is now really the time for a family meeting? Maybe don’t fight right now.
  64. Eeck, imagine your dreams as the guiding path for surviving an alien apocalypse. Not exactly trustworthy.
  65. So maybe it was right to go upstairs. Those aliens are making their way up that building right quick.
  66. Dude, whyyyyyyyyy would you yell out when they’re trying to get in the door. They can’t get in, they’d run away. Seriously, fool.
  67. Why is this kid walking down the hallway like a Shining sister? Really, for the stuffed monkey? I swear, kids.
  68. Are you really surprised they started shooting through the door? DON’T YELL BACK AT PEOPLE TRYING TO BREAK DOWN A DOOR.
  69. Man, these aliens are thorough. No man left behind.
  70. Ominous colored light. Does that follow the aliens around?
  71. SILENCE KID! You’re breathing too damn loud.
  72. Of course. I knew that monkey would be the death of them.
  73. Whaaaaatttttttt the alien is up close and staring at her. Damn, she’s talking right back at him. You tell that alien like it is.
  74. Don’t close your eyes when trying to shoot the advanced operative alien with mad fighting skills.
  75. Yaaaaaaaas Janice saves the day. Seriously, she’s my hero. But why didn’t we get to see what’s behind the helmet!
  76. See, this is why you don’t go upstairs. How you gonna get out?
  77. Whyyyy is the roof the answer. Whyyyyyy.
  78. I love the concept of trying to hit an attacker with the alien gun instead of actually using it. Hilarious.
  79. Looks like the roof was the right answer. But damn. In 20 minutes, that entire city is on fire.
  80. Flashlights on the roof are never a good idea. Haven’t you seen Independence Day?
  81. Ominous horn music for a gnarly looking alien ship.
  82. How convenient that there’s a window washer platform to get them to the main floor. Maybe it’s not a good idea to put eight people on that thing.
  83. Nailed it. It’s totally collapsing. Somebody’s gonna die.
  84. Nope, narrow escape.
  85. Man, this alien suit is just as gnarly as the ship. It’s all crusty and rusty. Wait, how did he just stand back up. Guess he’s not dead.
  86. Okay, that’s a pretty cool technology. Showing holograms in a mist. And who would have thought that gun would have a tracker in it. You guys are screwed.
  87. The night-time coloring looks like Sin City. Not sure if that was intentional.
  88. I’m amazed no one is crying or falling apart. They all seem pretty chill. Not only did their home get destroyed, but they just found out aliens exist. Somebody would be screaming their fool head off.
  89. She saves the day again! I knew that architect knowledge would come in handy.
  90. Well that was short-lived. Hello, explosion number four thousand.
  91. Oh shit, their friends just all died. That got intense real fast.
  92. And now you’re trapped in a tunnel with two of the aliens. And you somehow know how to hot-wire the alien gun? Magic.
  93. Damn, these aliens are ruthless. Seriously, they don’t mess around. And somehow there’s already an organized group of roving freedom fighters. The aliens have been here for less than an hour.
  94. Uh-oh. You done messed with the wrong alien and he wants his damn gun back. Thieves.
  95. Into the strangely oversized and well developed city tunnels we go.
  96. Seriously, this kid is the worst. She just wants to get shot by an alien.
  97. I just realized the older daughter is like a clone of V.E. Schwab. Seriously, tell me I’m wrong.
  98. Uh-oh, we’ve got the first gnarly wound.
  99. Man, that’s a lot of dead bodies. This world went from basic to shit real quick.
  100. I’m seriously obsessed with this holographic gas armband tech. That’s some next level GPS.
  101. No, she better not die. She’s too much of a badass. Save Janice Ian.
  102. Turn. A. Round. Gahhhhhh.
  103. Man, these aliens are tall. Don’t waste bullets, dude. That’s apocalypse 101.
  104. Damn, that was a sudden burst of energy. He destroyed that alien.
  105. Take off the helmet.
  106. WAIT. ARE THEY HUMAN.
  107. What the hell?!?!?!?!?! That ain’t no alien, son, that’s a human in some alien suit.
  108. Oh shit. No Janice, wake up. WAKE UP.
  109. Omfg, that’s a pretty strange move. Hey, alien human who just tried to kill us, pick up my wife and carry her two miles.
  110. Seriously, what is the deal with this guy being a human? Answer me!
  111. For some reason, the alien guy is just totally chill with them, not going anywhere.
  112. And yet another fully organized crimefighting unit. Does he work at a military base? Maybe I’ve misunderstood how much time has passed.
  113. Oh shit, fifty spaceships all turned to look at them at the same time. That’s not good.
  114. What kind of medical crap is happening right now? Shocking the shit out of her as a “diagnostic?”
  115. What the hell? All of these people already knew this was happening? This is like completely organized. Maybe someone should have told people?
  116. The alien talked! And he has a Southern accent. Yesssss, save Janice, alien. Save her!!
  117. He just said “you people” – is he an alien? I’m confused.
  118. Impromptu surgery from the alien man. Maybe not a great idea to let him cut into his wife.
  119. That knife is the opposite of sterilized. I think that bothers me the most.
  120. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. Is she a clone? What the fuck is happening.
  121. What, what, what is happening.
  122. She has machine parts in her and electricity. Tell me why. Did the clones take over the world and the human’s are coming for them?
  123. He’s a power source? What? Seriously, what is happening.
  124. Ahhhh he’s stabbing himself. Dude, I think you went a bit too deep.
  125. Twisty camera work, you know it’s about to get trippy.
  126. Omfg, he doesn’t feel it at all. Whaaaaat.
  127. Okay, this is the most twisty camera work I’ve every seen. Upside down even.
  128. Holy shit, he’s like a full on android. This is some ‘Bicentennial Man’ shit up in here.
  129. I really want to know why the alien dude is suddenly fine with helping the clones.
  130. Whose side should I be on? WHOSE SIDE?!?
  131. Oh shit, that TV conversation about A.I.s was about him!
  132. They are totally androids. How did I not see this. No wonder they’re kind of emotionless.
  133. Now we’re getting somewhere. Protests against “synthetics.”
  134. That’s what you get, humans. You thought they were robots and they’ve got emotions. That’s what you get!
  135. Aha, no wonder he can be an intense fighter. He’s a robot, man. It all makes sense now.
  136. I can’t wait to find out how they just forgot they were androids, because they clearly were aware before.
  137. The majority of those visions of the future were actually memories of the past android revolution. Damn, that’s cray.
  138. Ahaaaaaaa, the humans escaped Earth in those fancy spaceships.
  139. CALLED IT. Those kids are NOT their kids.
  140. Oh shit! The kids are androids too! I really should be figuring this all out quicker…
  141. Oh my god, I just realized. Since these are androids, maybe this girl actually IS a clone of VE Schwab.
  142. Wow, this is actually really interesting. They erased their memories and replaced them with human history and memories. Maybe not a great way to prepare them for the humans coming back…
  143. It really sucks to be a human in this world. Damn, they’ve been living on Mars for fifty years. Ageless android families for decades.
  144. Aha, he’s helping them because he realized they’re not monsters.
  145. WTF, they just walked into a house and pretended it was their life? This is some hardcore dystopia stuff. Love it.
  146. Seriously, these kids just don’t want to survive. They make the worst decisions.
  147. Cue the massive gun battle.
  148. My main question – why would the humans even want to return to Earth if they have a whole colony on Mars?
  149. I really am digging these spacesuits. Now that I know they’re from Mars, it just seems fitting. Idk why.
  150. I sense some drama about to happen.
  151. Save the monkey! Phew, that was close.
  152. Run androids RUN!
  153. Why are they calling it a transport. Can’t they just call it a subway?
  154. This is an intense chase scene. You ain’t running fast enough.
  155. This is quite the slow motion reunion. You best run fools, or you gon’ die.
  156. Dude, you are shooting at thirty dudes with machine guns using a pistol. Just get in the train.
  157. Space turret! Where did that come from…
  158. This explanation of why they were prepared is too…prepared.
  159. Wait, are they going to try to take back the Earth in 8 minutes? I think that is maybe just hopefulness.
  160. Happy family reunion.
  161. Why don’t they have a space train? Why is it an ancient graffiti train?
  162. I realllllllly want to know more about the humans.
  163. And that’s it.

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Photo by Frederic Köberl on Unsplash